Forgiven Not Forgotten

I have always marveled at people who could forgive and forget; those who could forgive and essentially move on out of the pains like they had never been hurt. In all of my human abilities, I believe that this is one that I am totally weak to do so. For the adage in my nerves has always been "forgive but never forget". That is what it pays to be gifted with very good memories, not that I remember more, only that I don't forget much.

As is typical, things that happened, especially the painful ones of any origins, is logged in a wrinkle in my brains where it lays dormant, waiting for the moment of necessary recall to strike. I can let go of things, get passed certain frustrations or pains, get on with my life and be happy, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the disappointment in someone or the pain they've caused. Somewhere along, I still feel the twinge of sadness or anger that the offense has left behind, I have just moved on.

I have heard stories of people who became good friends with people who have caused them pain saying that they have forgiven them for all their transgressions and offenses. I nod in disagreement. Perhaps I'm too old, set in my ways, or immature, but that makes no sense to me. Maybe they're just lying. It all seems like they are deluding themselves. Maybe it will be easier to say you've forgiven the wrongdoer, to ease the other person's guilt and to end the discussion and move on separately with your lives.

Either way, as I've stated above, I'm not good at forgiveness in its truest sense. Mention a past hurt and the ache of disappointment will swell once again, though thankfully not to the level of the original moment, but still. So, perhaps another adage is more correct: Time heals all wounds. Well, I don't think it heals; it just puts a lot of new memories in to fill the gaps and soften the shock and power of the bad ones.

Anyway, this is what I've been mulling over lately. So if you've done something wrong to me and I say I've forgiven you, I'm probably just trying to make you feel better. Forgive? sounds good. Forget? I don't think I could, well at least for now.