I have reasons to be happy but I have chosen not to so I could be one with the nation and with the million Filipinos around the world to witness a saddening event. A night we wanted to feel sad and sorry, a night that was no cheerful and light. A night we knew would make us feel heavy on the chest yet we obliged. A night that has become ours, a night that was both poignant and depressing. A night that I alone have not cried and we couldn’t help it.
For many months, we have committed to behold their intertwined stories. We were delighted with surprising twist after another , so fast paced that it's frustrating to miss a thing. Beyond their exciting tales were characters so real and lovable, that for most times, we have laughed with them, cried with them and deeply affected by their emotions and even dreams. Our devotions to know them larger than what we could see have mirrored how affectionate we Filipinos are, how easily we get carried away even sometimes by the things and thoughts that are just real life imitations.
As their end drew to a close, we too have grasped for breath. In as much as we all wanted a happy ending, we needed to shed tears to bear with their demise. There were so many endings that came before them but somehow we never really cared. Francis M., Michael Jackson, Cory Aquino, yes we mourned their absence, but it's very unlikely to have a greater feeling of pains and grief for something that happened in a box.
Oh well, I know I am not the only one in this agony. I know many of you have cried too last night. It must have rained hard from within for most avid. Tissue please to hold back the drops.
Kagabi, hindi lang ako, hindi lang tayong dalawa, marahil, tayong lahat ay nakiluha sa malungkot na mga kaganapan sa buhay nina Dave, JR at Audrey.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Forgiven Not Forgotten
I have always marveled at people who could forgive and forget; those who could forgive and essentially move on out of the pains like they had never been hurt. In all of my human abilities, I believe that this is one that I am totally weak to do so. For the adage in my nerves has always been "forgive but never forget". That is what it pays to be gifted with very good memories, not that I remember more, only that I don't forget much.
As is typical, things that happened, especially the painful ones of any origins, is logged in a wrinkle in my brains where it lays dormant, waiting for the moment of necessary recall to strike. I can let go of things, get passed certain frustrations or pains, get on with my life and be happy, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the disappointment in someone or the pain they've caused. Somewhere along, I still feel the twinge of sadness or anger that the offense has left behind, I have just moved on.
I have heard stories of people who became good friends with people who have caused them pain saying that they have forgiven them for all their transgressions and offenses. I nod in disagreement. Perhaps I'm too old, set in my ways, or immature, but that makes no sense to me. Maybe they're just lying. It all seems like they are deluding themselves. Maybe it will be easier to say you've forgiven the wrongdoer, to ease the other person's guilt and to end the discussion and move on separately with your lives.
Either way, as I've stated above, I'm not good at forgiveness in its truest sense. Mention a past hurt and the ache of disappointment will swell once again, though thankfully not to the level of the original moment, but still. So, perhaps another adage is more correct: Time heals all wounds. Well, I don't think it heals; it just puts a lot of new memories in to fill the gaps and soften the shock and power of the bad ones.
Anyway, this is what I've been mulling over lately. So if you've done something wrong to me and I say I've forgiven you, I'm probably just trying to make you feel better. Forgive? sounds good. Forget? I don't think I could, well at least for now.
As is typical, things that happened, especially the painful ones of any origins, is logged in a wrinkle in my brains where it lays dormant, waiting for the moment of necessary recall to strike. I can let go of things, get passed certain frustrations or pains, get on with my life and be happy, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten the disappointment in someone or the pain they've caused. Somewhere along, I still feel the twinge of sadness or anger that the offense has left behind, I have just moved on.
I have heard stories of people who became good friends with people who have caused them pain saying that they have forgiven them for all their transgressions and offenses. I nod in disagreement. Perhaps I'm too old, set in my ways, or immature, but that makes no sense to me. Maybe they're just lying. It all seems like they are deluding themselves. Maybe it will be easier to say you've forgiven the wrongdoer, to ease the other person's guilt and to end the discussion and move on separately with your lives.
Either way, as I've stated above, I'm not good at forgiveness in its truest sense. Mention a past hurt and the ache of disappointment will swell once again, though thankfully not to the level of the original moment, but still. So, perhaps another adage is more correct: Time heals all wounds. Well, I don't think it heals; it just puts a lot of new memories in to fill the gaps and soften the shock and power of the bad ones.
Anyway, this is what I've been mulling over lately. So if you've done something wrong to me and I say I've forgiven you, I'm probably just trying to make you feel better. Forgive? sounds good. Forget? I don't think I could, well at least for now.
To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected
I came across this phrase one time while i was watching the telecast of the 2007 Emmy Awards. The show was giving honor to those television programs whose phenomenal success has enabled them to reach out far beyond the boob tube entertaionment. One show that was recognized for that higher purpose was the spin off of American Idol called Idol Gives Back, the top rating American show fund raising extravaganza thats featured performances of its past winners and finalists. The proceeds from the show were used to help children and young people in extreme poverty in the U.S. and in Africa. It was the Idol's way of sharing its success to those who have made the show enjoyed tremendous viewerships all through out its season runs.
Right there in front of the television set, I was kinda raised three feet above my seat. I am not alone. I am not carrying a burden. I am not living my life in vain. More than paying it forward when someone does you good and Spidey theme with great powers come great responsibility, it is truth lending to the timeless biblical truth that to whom much is given, much is expected. An individual who has been blessed by any means, like by earning support from other people, being gifted with good upbringing, great in born talents or physical wealth, making good a shot at once in a lifetime opportunity or simply being on top of his chosen field of endeavor, has the inherent responsibility to share to those less blessed and pay back those people whom he owe his way of success.
If only I had realized this earlier in life, it wouldn't have been that hard growing up and understanding why things have always have to be like this and why i have always have to do this and do that. You see, in my family, I was the only one whos lucky enough to finish schooling and to have that chance to land a decent job. So the responsibilities to support my family have rested in my shoulder since then. When I was still in school, whenever there's quiz competitions, I would always be the school representative and everybody's expecting me to bring the gold medal. Back then, I have found it a little unfair to live up to the pressure. I was thinking, if this was the price I have to pay for the gift of knowledge, then I'd rather be braindead.
Life is never fair and not all men are created equal. Some are born with a silver platter and others have to work their way out of poverty. Some are born with great talents and others have to be contented with their pretty faces. To whom a little much is given, a little more is expected. God won't give us cross we cannot bear. Great tasks are given to those with big hearts enough to make a difference in other people's lives.
Now I realized more than ever how good it feels when you give back and being able to share what is shared to you. Its bitter sweet especially if the road you travelled has been long and muddy. Only it is essential to note that we live with purpose, far apart from achieving our own. Succes is never personal and it has never been the end, it is only a means of achieving a higher purpose to which a meaningful existence would equate to.
American Idol has proven to be one of the most successful show on the planet and its find raising efforts have served its purpose beyond loud screams and glitter lights. Spiderman's powers have been regarded as a curse for it have sidelined its personal happiness but its the same powers that have kept peace and justice to his community. I have been blessed with the gift of knowledge anchored with some respectable talents. The road to a better life could be long and winding, but a will try my best to be of help to my family and loved ones no matter what it takes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We don't have to be "successful," only valuable.
We don't have to make money, only a difference,
and particularly in the lives society counts least and puts last
-William Sloane Coffin
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right there in front of the television set, I was kinda raised three feet above my seat. I am not alone. I am not carrying a burden. I am not living my life in vain. More than paying it forward when someone does you good and Spidey theme with great powers come great responsibility, it is truth lending to the timeless biblical truth that to whom much is given, much is expected. An individual who has been blessed by any means, like by earning support from other people, being gifted with good upbringing, great in born talents or physical wealth, making good a shot at once in a lifetime opportunity or simply being on top of his chosen field of endeavor, has the inherent responsibility to share to those less blessed and pay back those people whom he owe his way of success.
If only I had realized this earlier in life, it wouldn't have been that hard growing up and understanding why things have always have to be like this and why i have always have to do this and do that. You see, in my family, I was the only one whos lucky enough to finish schooling and to have that chance to land a decent job. So the responsibilities to support my family have rested in my shoulder since then. When I was still in school, whenever there's quiz competitions, I would always be the school representative and everybody's expecting me to bring the gold medal. Back then, I have found it a little unfair to live up to the pressure. I was thinking, if this was the price I have to pay for the gift of knowledge, then I'd rather be braindead.
Life is never fair and not all men are created equal. Some are born with a silver platter and others have to work their way out of poverty. Some are born with great talents and others have to be contented with their pretty faces. To whom a little much is given, a little more is expected. God won't give us cross we cannot bear. Great tasks are given to those with big hearts enough to make a difference in other people's lives.
Now I realized more than ever how good it feels when you give back and being able to share what is shared to you. Its bitter sweet especially if the road you travelled has been long and muddy. Only it is essential to note that we live with purpose, far apart from achieving our own. Succes is never personal and it has never been the end, it is only a means of achieving a higher purpose to which a meaningful existence would equate to.
American Idol has proven to be one of the most successful show on the planet and its find raising efforts have served its purpose beyond loud screams and glitter lights. Spiderman's powers have been regarded as a curse for it have sidelined its personal happiness but its the same powers that have kept peace and justice to his community. I have been blessed with the gift of knowledge anchored with some respectable talents. The road to a better life could be long and winding, but a will try my best to be of help to my family and loved ones no matter what it takes.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We don't have to be "successful," only valuable.
We don't have to make money, only a difference,
and particularly in the lives society counts least and puts last
-William Sloane Coffin
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the End of the Long Day
I have once been asked during my job interviews here in Dubai about what was the best thing about the Philippines. In a stunning declaration, I said that aside from the spectacular and majestic natural beauty that God has endowed the Philippines, one incredible piece of heaven that you could ever find here on earth the Filipino people. That amidst the hardest blowing wind, we are probably the most positively oriented humans in the world. That though we maybe lacking in riches and what you call economic prosperity, we still take it easy and never forget to celebrate.
It would definitely makes someone proud to hear those words but it feels better when you are in a place where you can exactly compare our race with the others. Here in Dubai where I work, it is inevitable that in one way or another, I have to deal with persons from other nationalities, either directly like having them for officemates or indirectly like seeing them in public places. It’s the true test of who we are in comparison with the rest. Blatantly, you can see how our attitudes differ in contrast with the Germans, the British, Indians, Chinese and Arab people.
At the end of the long day, I feel lucky to be Filipino. We maybe generally be short in height , brown in color and not as physically defined as the others but we are jolly and mighty in the real sense of the word. We are not known for having foul odors. We take good care of our hygiene religiously. We are not like Arabs in character, dominant, sadistic, abusive and lukewarm. We are mildly mannered, hospitable and generous. We are happy to be of help. We may not be as totally liberating as the West, but we are open to embracing changes for the better.
We are likeable and loved. We can bond with almost nationalities with ease and without fear of rejection. We can communicate well enough to be understood by all. We learn things fast and willingly whether it is a technical job or something that require some specialized education or skills. We find so much fascination in other culture that sometimes we try to imitate everything we see in them, even the way they speak, the way they act and the way they dress up. But at the end of the long day, we love ours and we patronage ours. We take pride in our world class talents and products.
That what makes us truly unique and distinct. That kind of uniqueness that doesn’t isolate us but rather put us in a level where we are respected and admired in so many fields. Yes, we are just a small and scattered pieces on the map, but our hearts and mind is as solid and big enough to make a difference in this world. We are democratic and many times we have taken the course of our fate into our own hands ( How many more Edsa Revolt will follow?). We are religious and our history is as colorful as the kaleidoscope of colors of the setting sun. So many times, we were conquered, so many times we were divided, but at the end of the long day, we return home and act as one.
It’s not all good though, as nobody is perfect. We are also humans and hence we are bound to make mistakes. Inevitably, we experience injustice, inequality, discrimination and abuse in the hands of our fellowmen. Indirectly, we are being punished by the effects of corruption in the government, our people’s diminishing moral and our disgusting crab mentality. Poverty is rampant just as the rich becomes richer. The means for survival is becoming less affordable. This is evidenced by hundreds of us leaving our family behind and wanting to work abroad. But at the end of the long day, no amount of money can equate to the joys and pains of sharing your every moment with your loved ones back home. That we’d rather have bad times with them than to have good times somewhere else across the globe without our loved ones.
So many things and events can happen in a day’s journey. Some are good, some are not so good. The best part of it? Well, knowing exactly that you have done you part in the best way you could. If it failed, there’s always another day to make it better. At the end of the day, the important thing is knowing how to get up and pick up the pieces.
It would definitely makes someone proud to hear those words but it feels better when you are in a place where you can exactly compare our race with the others. Here in Dubai where I work, it is inevitable that in one way or another, I have to deal with persons from other nationalities, either directly like having them for officemates or indirectly like seeing them in public places. It’s the true test of who we are in comparison with the rest. Blatantly, you can see how our attitudes differ in contrast with the Germans, the British, Indians, Chinese and Arab people.
At the end of the long day, I feel lucky to be Filipino. We maybe generally be short in height , brown in color and not as physically defined as the others but we are jolly and mighty in the real sense of the word. We are not known for having foul odors. We take good care of our hygiene religiously. We are not like Arabs in character, dominant, sadistic, abusive and lukewarm. We are mildly mannered, hospitable and generous. We are happy to be of help. We may not be as totally liberating as the West, but we are open to embracing changes for the better.
We are likeable and loved. We can bond with almost nationalities with ease and without fear of rejection. We can communicate well enough to be understood by all. We learn things fast and willingly whether it is a technical job or something that require some specialized education or skills. We find so much fascination in other culture that sometimes we try to imitate everything we see in them, even the way they speak, the way they act and the way they dress up. But at the end of the long day, we love ours and we patronage ours. We take pride in our world class talents and products.
That what makes us truly unique and distinct. That kind of uniqueness that doesn’t isolate us but rather put us in a level where we are respected and admired in so many fields. Yes, we are just a small and scattered pieces on the map, but our hearts and mind is as solid and big enough to make a difference in this world. We are democratic and many times we have taken the course of our fate into our own hands ( How many more Edsa Revolt will follow?). We are religious and our history is as colorful as the kaleidoscope of colors of the setting sun. So many times, we were conquered, so many times we were divided, but at the end of the long day, we return home and act as one.
It’s not all good though, as nobody is perfect. We are also humans and hence we are bound to make mistakes. Inevitably, we experience injustice, inequality, discrimination and abuse in the hands of our fellowmen. Indirectly, we are being punished by the effects of corruption in the government, our people’s diminishing moral and our disgusting crab mentality. Poverty is rampant just as the rich becomes richer. The means for survival is becoming less affordable. This is evidenced by hundreds of us leaving our family behind and wanting to work abroad. But at the end of the long day, no amount of money can equate to the joys and pains of sharing your every moment with your loved ones back home. That we’d rather have bad times with them than to have good times somewhere else across the globe without our loved ones.
So many things and events can happen in a day’s journey. Some are good, some are not so good. The best part of it? Well, knowing exactly that you have done you part in the best way you could. If it failed, there’s always another day to make it better. At the end of the day, the important thing is knowing how to get up and pick up the pieces.
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